Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Episode 30: What Remains...

Genre: Horror
Characters: Kaya, Lobo, Luther, Rafe, Connor, Ulrick, Dexter
Word Count: 6,702
Rating: R
Type: Series
Summary: Luther has taken Rafe to try and convince him to abandon Greymane and become a member of Gideon. At his refusal he begins to torture him into becoming his wild wolf so that in his true form, he can destroy every wolf in his pack: Greymane. Lobo and Kaya have a much needed conversation and she learns the shocking truth about her mother's death and her true mate.
Warnings: Language, suggestive material, violence, adult content, adult situations, nudity

“Rafe, Rafe, Rafe,” Luther grinned circling around the entrapped wolf. He was hanging by his wrists in the all too familiar dungeon Luther had spent hours in torturing and maiming his victims. Seeing the supposed wild wolf suspended vulnerable and defenseless above him strapped to the beaten wooden post brought utter joy and satisfaction to him. “Look at where we are now.” A wicked laugh filled the room and Luther stepped back to lean against the rack waiting for Rafe’s gaze to meet his.

“You know I offered you power. I offered you freedom and knowledge and all I asked in return was for your loyalty! Your allegiance to my pack! And what did you do? You threw it in my face; told me you’d ‘think about it’. Well Rafe, are you still thinking about it? No of course not. I understand you’ve been inducted into Greymane! And where are they now? Are you curious at all about why your pack has not come looking for you? Because I can offer you some insight as to why. Perhaps I should bring your mate along and…”

“If you go near Kaya I swear I’ll rip your heart out with my teeth while you watch you piece of shit!”

“I wouldn’t dare. I’m actually after something much different than that Rafe. Something much more…brutal. You see I know Lobo’s whelp has helped you get control of your emotions. She’s caged that wild wolf inside of you because ‘you fear hurting her’,” he whined in a mocking tone. “It’s so sweet I think I could kick a puppy. You joined Greymane in hopes of what’s the term the kids use these days? ‘Tapping that’? Well congratulations. Now I’m giving you one chance to make up for that mistake. Join me and save her. Otherwise…”

“I have a pack! And after what you did to Kaya I’ll never side with you! I’m gonna kill you, you son of a bitch!”

Luther laughed at his threat and smiled in Dexter’s direction as he turned the power on to the electroshock machine near the rack. “You know I never got a chance to hook her up to this. Damn shame too; I had such high hopes of hearing her howl for mercy. But as they say, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.” He touched the ends together and peered over his shoulder at Rafe.

“If you think I’m gonna beg you for mercy, you don’t know who you’re fucking with.”

“You know Lobo never wanted you in Greymane. He doesn’t even know what to do with you let alone how to treat the limitless powers you possess. You were weakened by love as I suppose can be true for any man stupid enough to allow his heart to rule him. Me? I rule with a different organ.” He tapped his index finger on his temple and the evil smile reappeared on his lips. “Had you the smarts, the intelligence to see the things I’ve seen you would have known putting your hopes on the back of an old man on his way out as Alpha was the most foolish gamble you could have ever played AND YOU DID IT ALL FOR HER!”

“FUCK YOU! I’ll never give you what you want!”

“Fine, have it your way. This little device here is going to bring out that beast and make you into the monster we both know you are. There will be no controlling you. You’ll rip through every wolf in Greymane and I’m gonna ensure that precious little bitch of yours is the last to go! She’ll get to watch you kill everyone she knows and loves until she takes that final breath. I guess in a way that’s good for me considering the fact that now,” he drew in a breath and turned towards a table lined with various gadgets, tools and weapons. Lifting a sharpened and modified fireplace poker he moved back towards Rafe with a satisfied sneer. “Anything that happens to you happens to her. You and I have a very long night ahead of us.”

Kaya found herself trudging among the flowers in the back section of the property. Rafe had convinced her to talk to her father and clear the air. He told her she at least needed to know the truth and so she reluctantly returned home to do just that. Yet once she arrived back at Greymane she still could not bring herself to go inside and face him. If any of what Luther told her was true then the man she loved and respected and learned from all these years had been lying to her and manipulating her thoughts to suit his needs. 

Lobo watched her from his office pacing the area around the pool. He felt her the moment she returned home and knew she was not there of her will. He decided to give her the chance to get back into her role before approaching her unsure of what exactly was causing her anxiety. Turning towards the bay window Kaya saw her father watching her. He smiled and waved in her direction and immediately her gaze fell to the trampled flowerbeds beneath her feet. With the sudden discomfort and realization she was mad at him he exited the manor and started for her. 

“I’m glad you’re home Babygirl. I was worried something had happ…”

“What relation am I to Lexi?”

The question caught him off guard and he held his breath without realizing he’d done so. She stood with her arms folded into her chest staring at him and waiting for the answer to reveal itself. “What do you mean?”

“I mean is Lexi my Aunt, my mother’s sister or not?” Anger began building behind her words as her eyes stared defiantly towards her father. Unsure of why she started with that question of all things she had to ask it became the most important concern at that moment. Everything in her world depended on his answer to that question. If he said no then the words in those diaries becomes false and she can take comfort in the fact that Luther was merely playing his childish mind games with her and none of it was true. But if he said yes, then that would begin a domino effect in her mind and ALL the walls would come crumbling down. “I want an answer. Is she or isn’t she?”

“Kaya where are you getting this?”


He rubbed a hand over his lip dotting at the perspiration that had formed over his skin thinking over what he wanted to say to her but his silence proved answer enough. Kaya shook her head in utter disbelief. Her hand fell over her heart and she looked at her father in complete shock before taking off towards her mother’s garden to check the stone as Luther mentioned. “Kaya!”

Running her hands over the carved rock her fingers played within the invisible creases that showed evident signs of tampering. “Oh my God…no.” She raised a shaky hand to her head as her world started spinning. Her mother’s journals, the ones left in Luther’s care, were real! Everything she’d written about her life as a new wolf, her romance with her father’s mortal enemy and the battle that took place between them, all true! But that also meant Kaelani was alive for years after Kaya’s birth! She had spent time getting to know her pup; memories long since erased. And now did that also mean as Luther said she was murdered?

Silence encased her; filling her head with an incessant ringing that she couldn’t shake. She could hear her heart pounding in her ribs and the sound was excruciating. Her palms were sweaty, her chest was tightening and she felt a burning pain in the back of her throat as the first tear fell from her eyes. Her entire body felt as though it was shutting down. Sight had become clouded and tunnel vision blurred her perception; her world was becoming dark. She fell to the ground feeling her entire body shaking confused and wracked with too many emotions to process. Suddenly she heard heavy footsteps behind her and a warm hand pull her to a standing position in front of her mother’s headstone.

“Kaya can we talk please?” Armand spoke softly as he held his pup against his chest. The cool dirt patch began chilling her through her barefeet and he could feel her sobbing beneath his grip. Lobo sighed heavy watching her shudder at the sound of his voice. What once brought her comfort now seemed to be nothing more than the sounds of annoyance and hostility and it broke his heart knowing he’d caused all of it. “I want to explain my actions to you.”

“Why bother? You’re Alpha it’s your right to do as you please regardless of council by your Beta,” she scoffed. “Beta; I don’t even know why I hold that title besides meaning I’m your only heir. You never once really held me truly in that position. Messing with my memories, keeping secrets, ignoring my advice and the needs and wants of the pack just to push your agenda; what kind of Alpha does that make you? What kind of man for that matter?” She pulled away from him and started back towards the manor moving quickly to gain distance from him.

“KAYA DANIELLE VILLALOBOS YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!” Lobo’s bellow was loud enough to shake the very ground she stood upon and made her freeze in her tracks. She knew that tone; lived with it long enough to know when he’d had enough and when he needed to be listened to. Pulling himself from the ground he took his time approaching her letting the cool night air calm his nerves before his wolf released his anger on her; that was not what he wanted after all. Taking a deep breath and slowly opening his eyes he looked at her and called her name warmly until she faced him once more. “Will you please let me explain?”

“You’re asking me yet the tone you used pretty much dictates I don’t have a choice in the matter once again.” Folding her arms angrily across her chest she glared at him. He motioned her towards the bench near the shrub wall and held back a laugh watching her stomp towards it. That action reminded him of when she was a child and demanded his attention with that same pout and stomp.

He sighed once more; she was still that little girl in his eyes and that is perhaps where he went wrong. Though he knew her to be a grown woman that could handle most anything he never could let go enough to let her try. He’d always been too afraid of losing her and now it seems that chokehold is the very reason she is slipping away at this moment. “I don’t know where to begin,” he dropped his head into his hands joining her on the bench.

“I’d suggest a place but that might keep you from telling me the truth about everything.”

Her words cut through him like a rusty knife; sawing slowly and painfully through his heart and it was his own fault. “Kaya I know I have a lot to make up for and I know there is so much that I’ve kept from you and I can’t tell you how sorry I am about that but…”

“Sorry? You can’t say ‘sorry’ and think that in ANY WAY makes up for erasing my memories of Mom! You stole that from me without thinking how that would affect me and why? What purpose did that serve?”

“Kaya I took those memories as well as anything else concerning your mate and I did it because…I needed to keep you safe from him! The only way I could do that was to remove any and everything dealing with him.”

“But why? Why of everyone was I not allowed to have the mate I was destined for? It was obviously not the reason you’d spoon fed me for centuries about me killing Mom.”

“I never said…Kaya is that what you thought? That you were responsible for her death?”

“Well what do you expect a child would think when they are told their birth killed their Mother, Armand? That everything would be fucking rainbows and cupcakes? I struggled with that for years! Why do you think I tried as hard as I could to be near her? To learn everything I could about her? I wanted her forgiveness!” Hot tears rained down her cheeks as she spoke and Armand reached out to take her into his arms but she pulled away preventing him from touching her. “I needed her to know how sorry I was that I took her life. Talking to her and hoping she heard me was the only way I knew how!” she cried harder, pulled her legs into her chest and fell forward into her knees. Tears stained her jeans mixed with the black ink of her eyeliner and mascara but she had too many to shed to concern herself with the blemished denim.

“Baby I’m so sorry about that. I never knew that was how you felt! You never said anything!”

“How could I? As Beta my role demanded a strong outwardly appearance it was what you taught me. There was no way I could confess these things and still carry a smile or hold my head high. So I told no one; not even Connor knows. I’ve carried the burden alone and just tried to honor her in ways I thought she would appreciate. But in reality everything I thought and felt for all these years was that no matter what I did it wasn’t good enough because she wasn’t here to see it and that was on me!”

He tried again to hold her, to comfort her and again she refused his hand. The back of his throat burned and he recognized the sensation as the makings of his own tears preparing to rain. Watching his only child, his little girl crying her eyes out and knowing she’d rather be anywhere in the world than beside him at this moment broke his heart and he dropped his head in shame. “Kaelani loved you with all her heart. You were her one shining moment and she never stopped saying that. You made her so proud Kaya. There wasn’t a thing she wouldn’t give up to keep you happy; your memories of her…” 

Every muscle in Kaya’s body struggled for air as her sobs weakened her making her exhausted and cramped. She wiped her face over the back of her hand and tried to compose herself. Looking up she saw her mother’s grave and for a moment marveled in the way the moonlight cascaded around the marble stone enhancing every feature about the floral plot. Armand wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her deep into his chest. Finally she stopped resisting but she refused to meet his gaze. He held her tighter until he felt her tears subside and sweetly wiped them from her face.

“I didn’t take your memories Kaya, this was the one thing Kaelani and I argued over. Your Mother made me promise to keep you from the pain of everything and that’s what I thought I was doing. She had her sister, your Aunt, place that spell on you upon her death. When I learned about it, it was too late. After that I changed the dates on her stone, removed and concealed the pictures of the two of you together and cleaned up everything else that would have exposed that secret. I was ok with you hating me over it if the secret ever came out because it was the one thing I could do for you. Any time afterwards when I noticed the spell giving way I contacted Lexi to have her restore it again.”

“Right and I’m sure that’s true. How do I know you’re not just telling me this to make me forgive you? It would be convenient to put this off on someone who’s dead and buried and unable to defend themselves!”

“KAYA!” He growled and drew in a deep breath feeling himself lose his composure over the accusation. That was his mate his daughter was speaking about and hearing the words caused a reaction that shocked even himself. It had been over two centuries but talking about her still makes his wolf ache and he still gets defensive of her; even with his own daughter. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be; I know your temper Armand.”

He grinned hearing her use his name and rubbed his hand along her arm. It was telling of how she felt: disconnected. Since joining her in the gardens she hadn’t once uttered a paternal moniker towards him. Instead she kept using his first name and the thought again tugged at his heartstrings. She was distancing herself from him and their relationship and he could not bear the thought of losing her. “I’m telling you the truth Kaya. Besides your memories aren’t lost completely Lexi can always restore them if she were willing.”

“‘If she were willing’ why is it up to her? I’m the one that was robbed.” She pulled away from him again and dropped her eyes once more to the ground. “Mom loved Luther. She had made plans to marry him.”


“But you took her from him and that’s what started this entire bloody war between our packs.”

“Kaya when I met Kaelani everything made sense. She was like a breath of fresh air to my drowning wolf and I had to take what was mine; my wolf was restless without her. Luther and I used to be friends, best friends if you can believe that. We lost touch for a few years when my family uprooted to Mason’s Falls and he stayed here in Willow Reed. He wrote to me one day explaining that he was desperately in love and wanted me to be by his side on the day he wed. Naturally I accepted the honor and moved back to town and closer to my family’s pack, Greymane.” 

Kaya turned her focus to her father as he leaned forward recalling his life and the start of the bitter rivalry between him and Luther. “The day he introduced me to Kaelani my entire world stood still. The minute our hands made contact I knew and so did she. I told Luther and backed out as his best man because I could not go through in good conscience and watch him marry my true mate. His pack had a long standing feud with Kae’s and I used that to my advantage. I went to her father and I told him about our connection. He in turn called me in not too few words a gigolo and said there would be no way in hell he’d give his daughter’s blood bond to a lothario like me.”

Kaya looked up and scrunched her nose at him trying to imagine him as a playboy like her best friend. She shook off the images and swatted his arm. Armand smiled at her and peppered a pair of kisses on her forehead. “That’s what your mom thought too trust me I changed my ways real quick. I stopped skirt chasing; I prepared myself as a wolf capable of taking over as Alpha if needed within my pack. I fought so many death matches to gain standing within Greymane in order to prove to Tiberius I could take care of his daughter. I wanted her, I needed her and I was prepared to do whatever it took to get her. Needless to say Luther and I became enemies and he became resentful as is understandable. I took the woman he loved because I loved her more; she was my destiny.”

“Luther said that you forced her to marry you against her will. That everything she did after that was in hopes of dying and ending her suffering.”

“Luther is a son of a bitch, Kaelani was happy with me Kaya. Every day of her life was spent in pure bliss and this I know for fact. A blood bond lets you feel the emotions of your mate; there is no escaping true feelings once that connection is shared. She had her doubts in the beginning but she stood at my side where she wanted to be. I never forced my will on her. I never forced her to marry me or bond without knowing 100% that she was in it too, I never could have done that to her. Her happiness was my number one priority. Had she told me she wanted Luther even with the urgency to mate and bond with me I’d have let her go that’s how much I loved her. What Luther told you was just to hurt you, to hurt me.”

“Ok, fine so tell me how that translates to me having to live in the dark. Don’t you care as much about my happiness and what I want? I was almost raped because of you.”

“You what?!” Armand jumped to his feet, his eyes took on a darker hue, his claws emerged and his fangs pierced his gums as an earth rumbling howl ripped through his lungs. “WHO?”

“Who do you think? He wanted to test the fact that he could conclusively breed and was going to make me his! He tried to steal my bond!”

“I’m going to kill him!” Armand tried shifting completely hearing the pain in his child’s voice but Kaya shook it off.

“Like this? Right now? You’re running on rage. There’s no way you can beat him like this. It’s too easy to make a mistake. Besides you won’t make it two feet into his territory without the council zapping you and there is still more that I want to know Armand! You’re not getting off that easy!  My mate and my best friend took care of me!”

He dropped back beside her and tenderly caressed her arm. “Kaya I’m so…”

“I don’t want to hear it. Those are empty words to me. I’ve been cheated, lied to, manipulated, charmed, treated like a child and kept from my memories and emotions. As I said before no amount of ‘sorry’ could ever make up for that. Tell me about my memories and what really happened with my mate. Why is it up to Lexi if I get to have them back or not?”

“You’ll come to find that your aunt is every bit as stubborn as both you and I.”

She sat up and nudged his belly with her elbow. “I’m not stubborn I’m determined. It’s a classier way to say…”

“Spoiled brat.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Touché,” he grinned and kissed her forehead.

“I want my memories back.” She rubbed her hand over his and looked deep into his eyes. “All of them and I mean the real ones no more games.”

“We can go see her tomorrow and I’ll make sure you get what you want.” He lowered his gaze to the ground and breathed in heavily immersing himself in thought. “I loved your mother Babygirl, with every fiber of my being and I love you just as much. I would die before I let anything hurt you Kaya and it pains me more than you know that I’m the one that made you cry. And I want you to know first that I’m not angry with you about what’s happened between you and Rafe; I can’t be. After everything you’ve been made to sacrifice and forgo you deserve something to call your own. I yelled that night because I was afraid of what that meant for the pack. This treaty and everything that was to come from it was very important for everyone in Greymane.”

“Yes but I took care of that.”

“Very diplomatically I might add. I worried that the Barretts would refuse an accord just because of the breaking between the packs but you not only convinced Roman but Raeford as well and Raeford is a tough man to negotiate with. Kaya sweetie I know I can’t expect you to listen to me at this point. Rafe is your mate with or without my blessing that is something that cannot and will not change.”

“I never meant for that to happen. It’s just when I was with him everything seemed right. I am always my happiest when I’m with him. I…I don’t know I burn for his touch. My wolf does flips whenever he smiles at me. I tried to fight it but having him always around it was hard! So much so that I hadn’t the strength to resist it anymore. I can’t describe it but it’s like my soul…”

“Recognized its counterpart. Kaya that’s the reason Lexi and I tried to keep the two of you separate. Rafe Hemming is your true mate; the mate you’ve always belonged to which is why I cannot allow the blood bond between you.”

“What? But if you knew that why did you let him stay around?”

“Because had he joined another pack, his powers would have grown out of control. Having him as an enemy would have been too much for anyone here to survive. Lexi and I came to an understanding that if he remained here by your side you, being his true mate, would be able to keep him in line and so far you have. Lexi was working on a more permanent solution and in the meantime I tried to distract you with Roman and hoped you’d be able to stay away from him.” 

“So that whole treaty thing WAS just so I wouldn’t be with Rafe.” She bowed her head and frowned, “I had a feeling but I didn’t think you’d stoop that low when you saw how I felt about him.” She felt his hand rub her shoulders and could hear the pain in his words as he leaned towards her apologizing once again and explaining his motives. “Explain to me how any of this is possible. I thought you killed my mate.”

“He was saved by the first witch.”

“What? Why would a witch save a wolf? Their first duties are to their own and if what you’re saying about Rafe is true wouldn’t that be even more reason to have let him die? If his existence completely upsets the balance of nature then why was he spared?”

“That’s where Lexi and I are both thrown. We cannot understand the reasons she saved him but we know for a fact that it was her.”

“So wait a minute, are you telling me you knew Rafe before I introduced you that day? That you tried to kill him? How old would that make him? I thought my mate was at least a century born before you killed him.”

“Rafe is not the same wolf I thought I’d killed; or at least not in scent or sight. I didn’t recognize him that day because the witch changed his appearance. Not only that she changed his scent and his name and shrouded him so that Lexi could not determine his true origins until he’d lived here for months. But yes I tried to kill him. At that time he was at least around his centennial maybe a little more. He had just moved to Willow Reed when Lexi was alerted of his presence; not only because he was wild but because of who he was. She told Kaelani and shared her vision. When your mother came to me that night to show me the vision she begged me to do something about it. She was wracked with fear afraid that he’d find you and take you because you belonged to him. We knew he would eventually; it’s nearly impossible to separate two destined souls and he was searching for you Kaya.”

He paused momentarily and looked at his daughter to check her reaction before continuing. “I made it my duty to take care of it for our family Kaya. He was dangerous; he would have changed everything as we knew it if he mated with you and took your blood bond. There was no way either myself or Kaelani were going to allow that to happen; none! So I went to him and his band of rogues and I asked him to leave town, nearly begged him but he was having none of it. He laughed in my face; threatened to tear the town apart to find you. He knew then you were close and he was preparing to go to war to take you. I don’t think he knew how young you were but either way he was coming. Had he taken you, we’d have never seen you again. The very idea broke Kae’s heart. She knew he’d change you; what she said she saw was frightening and seeing her cry…he had to die Kaya, I’m sorry.”

“How old was I?”

“You had just had your fifth birthday five months prior. He wouldn’t have been able to mate you until your 17th birthday but had he taken you, you would have grown up around him and there would have been no stopping what happened after that. I remember the day they came for you it was bloody. There was so much chaos within the manor. Screams echoed everywhere only drowned out by the violent sounds of ripping flesh and angry growls. The males all gathered and prepared to take out the intruders and one by one we failed, they were too strong. Kaelani gathered up the women and children and fled towards the shelter that has since become your stables. She hid with you in one of the corrals waiting out the battle. I got hurt and she felt it and she tucked you into Claire’s arms and came after me.” He dropped his head and blinked hard as the feeling of tears again tore at his throat and again he fought them back, refusing to let them fall.  

“Oh my God,” Kaya whispered more to herself as she put the facts together listening to his story. She shook her head and tried to dispel its truth, her eyes darting frantically as her thought process worked wildly. Please God not that. “Daddy?” She called trying her best to calm her emotions before asking the one question she REALLY did not want to know the answer to. “Did…Rafe…kill Mom?”

He nodded and at that instance the tears he struggled to hide fell from his eyes and he fell back in anger and regret. She gasped and joined him in outburst. The wolf she mated, the wolf that was destined to be hers is the very wolf that took away her loving home. “He did. It was him and the Savages; he was their Alpha or whatever you’d make of him. They weren’t an official pack; just a rummaging and pillaging group of thugs that instilled fear in the hearts of the wolf community everywhere they roamed. I killed Rafe. I wrapped my hands around his neck and I ripped his head off his shoulders. Once I’d finished him off the others scattered; left town before his body went cold. We buried your mother a few days after that.”

She stood and paced towards her mother’s grave. How could it have been her mate that did this? Rafe? Was he lying to her too or did he really not remember anything? She absently kicked at a pebble on the ground dropping her gaze she watched it clink towards the end of the path as she thought over Rafe’s involvement. He couldn’t have been the same man the same wolf that was the cause of her pain and endless torment. He is too sweet and loving to be the same. “The Savages, are those the same wolves that attacked us in Shadowvale?”

“They may be I don’t honestly know for sure. When new wolves began popping up here after your fourteenth birthday I sent you to France as a precaution and scoured your scent from the manor. I worried that the rogues would come looking for you again to make you their Luna in Rafe’s absence. If those were the same wolves I’m sure they didn’t recognize Rafe as I hadn’t.”

“Or perhaps they did. They didn’t immediately try to harm either of us. We were thrown into a cage and I guess I can’t say for sure what their intentions were but they didn’t become aggressive until we tried to leave. I don’t understand this, how old is Rafe?”

“I don’t know baby but I’d be willing to guess he’s about as old as I am, maybe more.”

“He’s strong; stronger than me and faster. I knew there had to be a reason for that. I knew. There was no way a pup could overpower me. No way could he gain on me during our runs without an advantage. But if Rafe is older than you, how were you able to beat him?”

“Because I had your mother. Having mated and bonded with my true mate I had complete access to all of my lycan abilities. Rafe of course was looking for you so he was half the wolf I was; half the true monster he could become. Age notwithstanding I could muster more strength to take him down but he was still a fierce opponent. This is why I fear what he could become once bonded.”

She pulled away and thought about her moments with Rafe and all of the times she tried to keep her hands off of him and failed and vice versa. It’s nearly impossible to separate two destined souls and he was always meant for her. “Wait if Rafe’s past form was searching for me and he and his pack knew they had me pinned down in Willow Reed then it’s no coincidence he came back and why we found him in the woods. But does that mean his group of savages is also returning?”

“Yes. And now you understand why I did what I did. If everything comes together the way Rafe wants it to or needs it to then that’s it for wolves as we know it.”

“But Rafe doesn’t know any of this! He thinks he’s only 27 years old. And I’ve mated him and I need to bond with him. I can feel my wolf ripping at my insides the longer we are apart; crying to him, calling for him. I need to have my mate!” 

“I know how it feels, trust me. The more apart you are the weaker you will become and Kaya I tried everything I could to prevent this from happening but you have to believe me that everything I did it was all for…”

“Don’t! Don’t tell me this was all for me. Don’t tell me you had my best intentions at heart because I just don’t think you did. I’ve been cursed my whole life; ripped from the arms of the one I’m supposed to be with not once but twice and this time I’m conscious to feel the endless, burning ache of it all! It’s hard to think about that right now. I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. My mate is my mother’s murderer, you’ve fucked with my memories so I don’t know what’s real and it’s just too much right now. I don’t even want to be here…in this house…near you.”

“I understand but Kaya the pack is strongest when we’re together. I don’t want to risk letting you out there where anyone especially Luther has easy access to take you again.”

“And Rafe? He’s part of this pack now too would you let him return?”

He sighed and moved towards her keeping his wolf as calm as he could as he addressed the topic of the wolf that murdered his mate. He rubbed a hand over her shoulders and felt her flinch again. She was pulling away once more and he bit his lip to keep from protesting; she had every right. “Kaya he’s too dangerous to be around everyone here. And now that you’ve mated he’ll have even more power than before. I cannot risk it, I’m sorry.”

“Then I’m sorry too Armand.” She kissed his cheek gently and turned towards the path heading back towards the manor. Stopping shortly she gave her mother’s grave one last mournful gaze and inhaled. “Why didn’t you ever change the stone?”

“Because deep down a part of me wanted you to know the truth. Kaya as much as I love your Mother, what she asked me to do to you was…I was against it wholeheartedly and it’s why she asked your Aunt to do it instead. I was hoping that you’d see the markings, question it and then I’d be forced to tell you. I guess I convinced myself that this way, you finding out on your own, I was still keeping the promise to her that I’d protect you. If it wasn’t me outwardly confessing everything then I wasn’t really betraying her. When you started coming out here a lot I just knew you’d see it. And every day I saw you disappear over the hedge I thought ‘today’s the day’. But you never did.”

“What was his name?”


“Rafe’s. You said the witch changed him that includes a new identity. I already know his adoptive parents gave him the last name Hemming. What I want to know is his name back then.”

“I don’t…I don’t remember.”

“Bullshit Armand!”


“No! Don’t ‘Kaya’ me! That’s bullshit and you know it! This man broke into your home, threatened to kidnap your daughter, killed several members of your pack, destroyed your property and murdered your mate and you expect me to believe you can’t remember his name? That’s the kind of shit you can never forget now I’m asking you and I won’t again before I walk out that door and you never see me again! What…was…his…name?”

Lobo inhaled deeply as he stared at the angry expression across his daughter’s face. Revealing that would open up a whole new can of worms and he just didn’t know if he was ready for that. Seeing her starting to back away he quickly spoke to keep her from leaving just yet. “Caleb! His name was Caleb Savage. Kaya, don’t go please. I need you.”

She took one shaky step forward as the name brought back a recent memory; something she’d seen. “He was the one from the letter; the Savage that you had ‘removed’ from this territory!” Lobo nodded and Kaya breathed a sigh of relief being able to piece together a part of the puzzle. A sudden jolt rocked down her left side and she yelped in pain removing herself from her father’s grasp. She fell to the ground and began trembling violently.

“Kaya? Kaya!” Armand rested her head in his lap to keep her from smashing it into the ground again and tried his best to settle her. Seconds passed like hours before she finally stopped writhing in pain and he was able to get an answer from her. “Are you ok?”

“Rafe! I have to get to him!”

“No Kaya did you hear what I said about him?”

“He’s hurt and he needs me!” She jumped up from the ground and rushed for her car all the while Lobo yelled for her knowing she was rushing headlong into danger.

He entered the manor and called for Rick and Connor before starting after her. “We’re going hunting,” Lobo growled shifting forms and heading towards the door. “She’s looking for that damn wolf. She said he’s hurt which could only mean…”

This is a trap Alpha; someone is luring her in using him as bait!” Connor shifted and rushed after his Alpha. “We have to hurry! If it’s Gideon seeking revenge for Luther then she’s...”

Already dead,” Lobo howled.

Continue ---->


  1. That estate would be hell to maintain.

    I knew Lobo had a reason to keep this all from his daughter but I never would have guessed all this. Rafe is Caleb, the one he thought was his father? Whoa. I just can't picture Rafe as such a maniac. Well okay, maybe I can..just a bit.

    Damn it, Luther! You're forcing me to get out the whips and chains.

    1. That's the life of an Alpha to try and make it all appear seamless.

      Lobo did his best to keep Kaya from all of the pain that he knew would inevitably eat her up. He didn't want her to live with the guilt of what her mate did to her mother and the fact that she had such horrible nightmares only added to his reasoning. Rafe as we'll come to see very soon was a very scary man...might I say worse than Luther!

      Haha I'm sure he'd enjoy that though :D

    2. I'm sure he would. I absolutely hate him and love him all at once. He makes me all kind of kinky.

      When Rafe does regain his memories of his 'past life' would he change for the worst? Or would he be able to look and his past actions and learn from them allowing him to help Greymane if only for Kaya?

      So many questions!

    3. LOL! That's hilarious :D That also sounds like Luther on his good days. You never know which side you're getting. The one that's cordial and inviting or the one that'll rip your throat out and eat you!

      Rafe may not have control at that point unfortunately. What Luther did to him today was unleash the beast that has been lying dormant inside of him for centuries. He has no idea the monster Rafe was and that torturing him will be more than anyone could have ever imagined. He won't be able to maintain control of his wolf at all times and that might even endanger Kaya as well :(

  2. Replies
    1. LOL! That's an awesome comment :D Seriously made me laugh. Thank you :)

  3. Luther was my suspect #2. I thought it was Bane at first. But Bane seems like such small potatoes now, compared to the big bad Luther.

    So many revelations. The back story just keeps getting more complicated, I love it! Not only has Kaya been deprived of her childhood memories, Rafe has ben wiped of centuries of his life. And he killed her Mom! That's going to be a huge hurdle for them to get over, but I guess the bond is so strong she's still ready to rush to save him even just after getting that news.
    I liked that Kaya was willing to hear Armand out and even understand a little, but at the same time hold him accountable and not let him off the hook or let him use her as an excuse.

    1. Bane got his ass handed to him when he went after him before so he decided to regroup and formulate a backup plan...he'll need it after what Luther does for sure!

      Thank you! As I write I try and hope that I don't lose anyone lol because I know how twisty and complicated all these ideals are but they all tie together even in the most subtle of ways. Kaya believes Rafe has no idea about any of this and she said as much to her father. But what if he did? O.o

      Kaya is all kinds of twisted at this point. Her mate killed her mother, her father covered it up and stole her memories, one of her friends is really her aunt, her mate is in trouble and she can feel it...yeah she's going through it. So many different thoughts and emotions she's drowning in she has no real clue which direction to go but she knows she has to help her mate. If he dies she'll lose a major part of herself.

      She loves her father very much regardless of what has happened and what she's learned, he's her dad so that bond is hard to tear especially after a few centuries together. But at the same time she hates him for what he's done to her and hates that he didn't tell her any of this for as long as it's been. She blames him for her pain most definitely and won't be very able to forgive really quickly. Now the question becomes where will she turn? Her murderous mate or her treacherous father??

  4. GAARKKKK...

    ....faints....out of commission....

    1. LOL! I didn't mean to break you! I'm sorry! Come back! :(

      I guess there was a lot to process huh? :P

  5. Ok so I can understand Lobo a little better but I still don't agree with how he and Lexi handled things. I know he says that Kaelani asked her to do it but like Ky said how can she know that is really what happened?

    Also how could neither of them think that she would carry some sort of guilt if she was told her mom died during childbirth? That is some heavy shit to tell a kid if it's true but that's the lie they came up with. Both their asses were dumb for that.

    Ky has a lot to deal with and take in right now. She has lived her whole life with a woman she didn't know was her aunt and her father along with that aunt have lied to her for that entire time. I don't understand how wiping her memories was supposed to protect her from a man they thought they had killed anyway. I mean they did it soon after her mom died so they had no way of knowing he had been saved at that point right? Or did I read that wrong?

    So on top of knowing her whole life was a lie she is mated to the very man that killed her mom. How in the hell does one get past that? Granted he doesn't know he did it at this point but still that is heavy.

    Damn crazy sexy Luther. Trying to provoke something he knows nothing about. He is so out to hurt Lobo he's not even thinking what that will mean for him. If Rafe is what they say he is, then Luther can't control him and if he thinks he can well he's crazier than I thought.

    Ok I think I got it all. :)

    1. They did handle things a bit odd true but in Lobo's mind he was doing what he needed to for his pack and his daughter. It's very hard for Kaya to trust anything they say now and it's a sad place for her to be with the only family she has.

      Both figured telling her that would hopefully help her deal with her mother's absence better than saying she was horribly slaughtered. Neither considered the consequences on telling a 5 year old that she killed her Mom would be detrimental.

      Kaya has learned SO much in this moment with Lobo and has no ideal how to cope just yet. Her family, the ones she is supposed to love and trust, have hurt her far more than any of their enemies ever could. They wanted to rid her of all the nightmares and thoughts of that night even after he was gone because as Lobo mentioned the others were still out there and they could still come for her at any time. They didn't want her to learn about how her mother died and what her mate had done. Lobo mentioned that he did kill her mate but he never told her why. Knowing the one you were destined for slaughtered your family is pretty heavy in itself.

      Rafe may not have remembered what he did all those years ago but now thanks to Luther he'll start getting back pieces of himself and seeing the man that everyone feared.

      LOL Luther opened the biggest can of worms ever with that bull he pulled on Rafe. He thought it was a "haha I got you Greymane" when in reality it's a "haha all wolves will die now". He never for a moment believed the beast more powerful than himself or his steadily growing pack. That will prove to be a major mistake.

      Are you sure?

  6. Holy wow!

    Okay, once again I feel really bad for Kaya. Her mate, her TRUE mate, the man she loved, murdered her mother. That's a lot to take in. And after ALL that, she still goes to save him? She's very forgiving.

    Luther is so... Ugh! I hate how evil it is but I love it! It's repulsively but also deliciously evil! I cannot stand it anymore! Luther has to die, I'm sorry. I love him so, but this cannot continue! This WILL NOT continue! I won't stand for it!

    Wow. I like Lobo 1% more, but that isn't a lot. And honestly I don't feel very bad for him. He caused it all. He was the problem; IS the problem. So therefore, not much sympathy is given!

    I really hope Rafe doesn't know what he did in the past.. If he did, and he did all this..... Just wow. I sincerely hope he didn't know about this. Though if he did, I must say; it was very smart saying that the Savages was his home pack. It unraveled all of the truth. So if he does know, which unfortunately I have a feeling he does, that was a smart move on his part.

    Wow these chapters just get better and better! Can't wait for the next! :)

    1. Kaya has a really hectic life for sure. Her one, true mate is the man she's wanted all along and now she realizes why she felt so close to him. Then to learn that he was the one that took her mother from her...she has a long way to go towards healing. She hasn't quite forgiven him yet but as one reader commented she's only known Rafe not Caleb so his past self is someone strange to her. She will need time to get through this but she can't allow Luther to kill him or hurt him in any way.

      O.o death to Luther? Perish the thought! He's just so wonderful isn't he? Ok maybe not. But if he goes who will Rafe turn his anger towards?

      Well that's a start I suppose :) He did have a little selfishness in his reasoning perhaps because Rafe took his mate BUT we still have not seen this vision that scared Kaelani to the point of erasing all instances of Rafe/Caleb's existence! There had to be something for her to want to allow her daughter to live in darkness over it.

      Rafe unfortunately thanks to Luther's torture will begin to see himself as the man he was; the beast that was caged within him. He will start to change with less control over the ability and it will place those he loves in grave danger! His pack never stopped looking for him as we learned in Chapter 22 when they were thrown into the cage. They'll find him again and when they do...those that stood in their Alpha's way are in for it!

      Thank you :)

  7. Luthers' bein' a bad boy again. I love him dearly but he's even getting on my nerves with his evil plots=b.

    I feel a little relieved that Armond was at least mostly honest with Ky.I'm still in shock though that he's still trying to keep Ky from Rafe, little bit of selfishness and not wanting to give up control me thinks, very bad to want to keep true mates from one another, no matter who they were once, Rafe don't know who or what he used to be, he only knows who he is now...and i happen to like this Rafe=).

    Poor Rafe...getting put through the ringer no doubt, I'm hoping he has the strength within to remember who he is if they manage to turn him....edenz~

    1. LOL! I think that's just the nature of his beast :P

      He wants her to know everything and the conversation ended before he told her why he is keeping them apart but soon she'll see it. In a way he was being selfish because this is the wolf that took his mate away. But he was thinking of Kaya and what it would do to her to be with him and what it meant for wolves in general. I know I keep saying that but we have just scratched the surface of Rafe Hemming/Caleb Savage :)

      He will for sure need Kaya in order to find his balance but he'll be too afraid to be near her because of what has happened at the hands of Luther! Something has got to give though and very soon, it will.

  8. That is a lot of deep information on her shoulders in one sitting. Poor Rafe has no clue, and everyone else who makes decisions seems to know. Was he really a violent and reckless creature all along? Or was he forced into it somehow? I am dying to see. I know he is hot headed know, but to outright kill another and also be the bonded/soulmate to the victim's child? I have to re-read and be sure I understand :) Your writing has changed very much since I started reading Desired all that time ago. Keep up the great stories, we will keep reading. :)

    1. She wanted to know it all and finally she got what she asked for. There is still one piece yet to be revealed and she'll get that once she has satisfaction Rafe is safe. You're right though Rafe is unaware of his true being because of the amnesia they found him in when they came upon him in the woods. What Lobo said as far as his personality though is true and we have seen glimpses of his rage as he became more and more aware of his wolf. He has a very short temper and snaps at the slightest provocation you understood it perfectly :)

      Thank you! That means so much to me! I still cringe thinking about Desired and the first few seasons of that story. The writing was...ack! I am so glad there is that noticeable change as I continue writing! That was a huge compliment and brought a cheesy grin to my face :D

  9. Poor Kaya is just being yanked in all directions. All of that has to be hard to hear then that news about Rafe...she needs a Cocobear hug...I need one too :D
    Anyway, I hate to admit that I understand Lobo not being able to forgive the man that killed his love and mated his daughter but Rafe isn't exactly Caleb now. Rafe is sweet and obviously loves Kaya. Caleb sounds like a ruthless badass. Hmm wonder if there is a relation to Luther.

    Speaking of...he is talking all that love stinks shit now but I bet if Giselle lets him bite her cookie he'll be walking on sunshine too.

    1. She has no idea which way is up the poor girl :( I think a hug would be tremendous help for her though.

      Aww :) I'm glad everyone can see that Lobo never really meant his daughter any harm. Some things just couldn't be helped though unfortunately and she ended up being the one most subjected to deceit and cover ups. He loves her more than anything and really only wants to see her happy. Rafe being the man that took his mate is a very harsh thing to try and live with especially with him being mated to his daughter now but it's a reality he must face. Rafe is a different wolf and maybe Lobo can see that soon...though that may not erase the fear of what he knows is just beneath the surface.

      HAHAHA too true! He did make Lexi reverse her voodoo because he had a promising subject :P

  10. O_______O Wow. Now we know why Lobo was so against her being with Rafe. I'm guessing Rafe has no recollection of his past? He's going to really feel like shit when he does remember. I don't know whether to hate him or what. Idk knowing what he did to Kaya's mom, I'm really not feeling that sorry for him right now. O_O
    Finally, finally, finally Lobo tells Kaya the truth but I think he did it cuz he was pretty much forced to. Man he's stubborn!
    They need to take Luther down once and for all!
    Great update! :)

    1. He is not only afraid of what might happen to their kind but he fears letting his daughter off to the man that killed her mother as well. Rafe doesn't know this just yet but thanks to Luther that may all change very son. He wasn't a very kind person to outsiders but he was very caring and sincere with family.

      He was pushed into it but that's what he needed. In his mind telling her straight up would have broke the promise he'd made to his mate and as much as he wanted to he couldn't go against her last wishes.

      Luther :) he has a little more to go.

      Thank you!